Because we often are not aware of when these types of events will occur, we are usually not ready for them. We may be knee-deep in our own life issues like a demanding job or our own growing children. So, what can you do while your loved one is in the hospital to get organized?

First, understand that it is never too early in the hospital stay to find out who is responsible for discharge planning. Usually, a social worker or a nurse is assigned this task and you should ask right away for the name of that person. When you contact him or her, introduce yourself as the family caregiver and begin a conversation outlining what you understand about the situation and the role you see yourself playing.

Ask questions – lots of them. If the person does not seem helpful or you feel rushed, ask if you can set up an appointment with more time.

Things to consider when you are talking about a plan for discharge:

1. How much physical assistance is likely going to be needed and can you do it?Do you need help following through with Medicare, insurance, or medical billing? The hospital social worker can be very helpful with this part of discharge.
2. Do you expect to need home health nursing care and/or more general home care for household tasks? If so, ask for referrals and assistance in finding help with payment for these types of services. You can also use the eldercare locator.
3. This may be a good time to get other affairs in order such as advanced directives, wills, and other legal and financial information together so that you are organized before another health incident.
4. Getting organized with a health history is important too – like getting all the insurance, medication, and health information in one place – More forms help organize the information so that you are prepared for when you need to speak with the doctors.
5. Find out if you will need equipment or supplies at home for your family member and purchase these before they come home.
6. Check out the house they are going home to is safe. Making a safe and comfortable home for a loved one before they come home will make the transition easier for both of you. Home Safety Checklists can be helpful for this.

When you are leaving the hospital:

1. It is a good idea to have someone come with you to the actual discharge. Often doctors and nurses are busy and the environment can be distracting when they are giving you information. Having someone else there can serve as a second set of ears and can help your family member while you are focusing on the discharge instructions.
2. Bring a notepad to write down what you are being told. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or have them repeat the instructions to make sure you understand it.
3. Ask specifically about what follow up is needed. Will the patient need to come back for a follow-up visit? Will someone call? If you are referred back to the family physician or a specialist, does that person have the hospital records from this visit?
4. Make sure you get a list of medications from the hospital with instructions. You should consider filling out a medication list for all your loved one’s medicines and show this at discharge to make sure there are no interactions. Managing medications safely is one of the most important tasks you may have.
5. Ask specifically if the person can be left alone and/or if there are any special instructions.

At Home:

1. It may be a few days before you feel like you have a good sense of what the person is going to be like long-term. The first few days are often a little chaotic and things usually settle down a bit after that. Arrange for some helpers, other family members, or paid home health nurses to be there if necessary.
2. This is a time when family and friends will visit most. Take advantage of offers for help. People often feel awkward and want to help but do not know what you need. When someone says “is there anything I can do” have some good answers such as “could you bring a meal one night next week.” Or “could you sit with Mom while I go out for the afternoon tomorrow?” These specific requests are actually a relief to someone who wants to help but does not know what you would prefer.
3. Ask for help and remember to take moments to re-charge. If you are having trouble finding help, look for your local Area Agency on Aging to find help in your area. These services are usually free or affordable and can be a good place to start asking for help.
4. While it is never easy to be suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver, the more prepared you are, the easier it will be for you and your family member.

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