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Family Caregiving for Seniors - SageCorner Blog

Giving Up On Life

by Deah on Tuesday, March 6, 2018 2:55 PM

It is so sad to see an elderly person with a will to die. It is even harder when that person is your parent. Currently, my dad is in so much pain and discomfort and unable to do the things he used to. He was a very active, “never-sit-down” type of person. He worked hard all his life and was a great provider for our family.

He just had his 87th birthday. He slept through a portion of his birthday party. His only entertainment in recent years is to play cards. Lately, he has not enjoyed that as he once did. When he talks about “being ready” it breaks my heart. As sad as it is to think of him leaving us, my biggest fear is that he will suffer even more before his end here with us. I hope that his end is quick and not drawn out. It feels like such a bad thing to say, but if you have ever been in this position with a loved one, I am sure you understand.

I thinks dad’s family history of longevity has been the reason he is still with us after all the years of so many illnesses. I’m sure he feels like that is a curse to him. I read once that when you give up all hope, that death becomes a friend - such a dark concept. Science has been finding that our mental state does hold influence over the body and health. In that case, dad’s mental state is very detrimental. He has lost all hope of getting better or being able to control the pain. It does not take long to understand that he no longer has any quality to his life. I guess without hope we begin our death wish.

I have had time to come to the realization that in losing him, he gains peace and final comfort. That however, is a hard realization to come to. It makes me weep as I write. I guess my reasons for wanting him to hold on have been selfish. For sure I will miss his sense of humor, his love, and his company. He is a great example of how good it feels to put in a hard day’s work, of strength, and love.


“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.”
-Author Unknown

Blogs Parent Separator Deah Bowes
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Deah

Tips and ideas to help care for a senior loved one at home.

  

Lori Paterno, M.Ed. Has a Masters Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling From Penn State University.  She has over 20 years professional experience in Human Services, Counseling, and Education.

Lori Paterno, M.Ed. Has a Masters Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling From Penn State University.  She has over 20 years professional experience in Human Services, Counseling, and Education. 
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