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Family Caregiving for Seniors - SageCorner Blog

Feeling Guilty

by Deah on Monday, November 6, 2017 4:30 PM

Sometimes you just can’t win for losing. When both parents need your help and they are in different locations, it can be really tough. With Mom in the nursing home for rehabilitation therapy and dad at home, we get torn as to where to spend our time.

Dad needs so much help with his vision impairment, COPD, and many other ailments that I feel like I should be there more often. He fell last night hitting his head on the cupboard handle on the way down. Now, he has a very nasty lump on his head. Feeling so guilty, someone should have been there!

It is just like your children when they got hurt. You keep thinking, "what could have been done to prevent it?" I should have not allowed this or I should have done that. What purpose does guilt play in our lives? I think that feeling a little guilt when my children were small helped me to be a better parent. Should I feel guilty about not being there when dad fell? I can’t help it; I do. We are our own worst critics at times. I know I take on these expectations for my family and then feel like I am coming up short when something happens. Guilt is such a complex emotion. The debate in my head tells me I am not doing enough - and then my heart tells me that I may not have been able to prevent it no matter what I did or did not do.

I know I didn’t do anything wrong, I just feel like I didn’t do my best at caregiving as I should like to have done.  But, guilt without cause does me no good.  I have to let go and keep working on just doing what I can.

Blogs Parent Separator Deah Bowes
Caregiver Stress
caregiving
Author
Deah

Tips and ideas to help care for a senior loved one at home.

  

Lori Paterno, M.Ed. Has a Masters Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling From Penn State University.  She has over 20 years professional experience in Human Services, Counseling, and Education.

Lori Paterno, M.Ed. Has a Masters Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling From Penn State University.  She has over 20 years professional experience in Human Services, Counseling, and Education. 
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