So with everything on your plate, it can sometimes get overwhelming. A bigger issue is that everyone else is overwhelmed too. So, you can start seeing crankiness from the lady in the store to your own spouse or other relatives.

When we and our families are under stress, we tend to act at our most basic level. If we can tone down our sarcasm or our typical hot anger for most of our lives – when stressed, these little flaws can come out in full glory.

One of the biggest problems is that on top of all the extra activity and bustle of the season, we have a giant problem called “EXPECTATIONS.” We are supposed to be cheerful and joyful and giving and patient and kind and loving and totally engaged with our full extended family – right? Well, for most of us this is an ideal reached only some of the time. But, with expectations, come pressure to achieve the desired outcome and that pressure only adds fuel to the fire.

So how do we prevent burnout at this time? Here are some ideas:

1. Lower your expectations. Because of natural odds and Murphy’s Law, the reality is, the tree may be crooked, your sister may not come home because she is mad at your mother, and the gift you got your spouse is not what he or she wanted. While not all of these things are likely to happen, there is a good chance that things will not be perfect. So, instead of thinking about the flaws, accept and expect that things will not always go as planned or as you would like.
2. Be Grateful: For some folks “accepting things the way they are” sounds sad or depressing. Contrary to popular opinion, “what is” is often quite wonderful if we look at it from a perspective of finding gratitude. When you are feeling stressed or disappointed, make a list of at least 10 things to be grateful for. I know it sounds cliché and corny – but it is hard to stay upset and experience gratitude at the same time.
3. Remember the point of Holidays: The point is to connect, to share, to spend time with family and friends. Relaxing our expectations and fostering gratitude will go a long way. If your family is complaining or fighting, be the source of calm in the storm. This is a great prayer by St. Francis of Assisi that helps us to remember that we have a purpose higher than just getting through the day…
4. Take time for yourself: Yes – I know – when??? But, I know that if someone called today and said they needed you to do something important, you would figure out how to squeeze it in. So, squeeze in some time for yourself – you are important.
5. Cut Corners: Yes – do it. This last Thanksgiving, I bought a rotissiere turkey breast from the grocery store deli. It was moist and delicious and everyone loved it and it saved me a bundle of time and hassle. Think of ways you can “make do” with less fuss and fanfare if you are pressed for time. Some ideas:
   • Come up with a great gift and get if for everyone – like monogrammed tote bags from a nice company or a bottle of a good wine you found, a great new board game for all the families with kids on your list, or the newest style of earrings. Find something that you can gift to lots of people to save time.
   • When entertaining, consider a potluck and go light on cleaning ahead of time. You can assign general dishes - sides, desserts, drinks, etc. There is also no need to sweep the floor before inviting 20 people over. The first guest may notice – but the rest will not and it will need swept again anyway! Close off rooms that “need work.”
   • Do gift bags – much easier than wrapping.
   • Say no. You don’t have to go to every party, every family gathering, attend every event at the church, or every work function.

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