One of the hardest parts of being a full-time caregiver is the sheer “constant-ness” of it all. You have so much to do – especially if there are multiple doctor appointments, pharmacy runs, and children of your own. When is there time for friends?

Part of being a healthy person is reaching out and being with other people. We need to share laughs, ideas, and our feelings and experiences. Without this, we are often on a downward spiral where we start to lose a sense of ourselves. In one old poem, Desiderata, the author says “many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness” and it is true of many ailments and bad days too. We need people.

But relationships take time and effort – things that caregivers have a short supply of. What can you do to make a difference?

1. Find old Friends:   at Facebook, you can recreate connections with old pals and classmates. This can be done at odd hours and at your convenience. Learn more about Facebook if you are not familiar.
2. Utilize online communities for caregivers to share common experiences. When polled, one of the largest needs caregivers have is to get emotional support from people who understand the situation. Sometimes, caregivers online can offer a great sounding board. SageMinder's community has many different topics to choose from.  Like Facebook, online communities are not limited to regular hours.
3. Get respite help and take at least a day or two off every now and then. Set up a lunch date with an old friend or family member to just relax and enjoy some fun out. Make a list of people you would like to reconnect with. If you can’t think of anyone nearby, make a promise to reach out to someone you see regularly now but have not made a connection with yet. Just offering coffee can open up a good friendship.
4. Join a group or take a class. If you can get away for an hour a week, you can find a class offered by a local school district, college, or organization.
5. Set up get-togethers for family or friends to visit your loved one – who may be feeling a bit lonely too. It seems like a lot of work – but if you say “potluck” dessert at our house Saturday night at 7pm – there is little you have to do except get out some plates and spoons. Often family members will appreciate the occasion to get together and you can get a break from being the sole entertainment for your loved one.
6. Make an acquaintance:  In nice weather go out with your loved on to a park and strike up conversations. You would be surprised at how one pleasant conversation can take you out of your sense of isolation even if you never see the person again.
7. Stay in touch with the news and events going on around you so that even if you cannot fully find time to participate, you at least can feel like you are somehow part of the happenings in your town, community, neighborhood, etc.
8. Write letters – old fashioned or otherwise – to people from your past. Let them know what is going on and ask questions about their lives. When you get responses, keep in touch.
9. Keep a positive attitude. Sometimes, when we have been out of circulation for a while, we start to lose confidence in our ability to socialize. As a caregiver, you may feel you have nothing relevant or exciting to say to someone who may be traveling the world or otherwise having more glamorous adventures. Don’t short-change yourself – you are doing one of the most honorable things imaginable and you are not dead – you are growing in ways that many others will never experience.
10. Be a good friend to yourself. Take long baths, journal, take yourself out to coffee or a movie if you can’t find someone else that day. Do things you enjoy and care for yourself in tangible ways: exercise, eating well, and resting when you can.

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