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Thursday, November 20, 2014
Helplessness
Last Post 02 Apr 2013 11:25 AM by Deah. 6 Replies.
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SierraUser is Offline Send Message Posts:11 Sierra
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28 Feb 2011 01:47 PM
I feel so helpless! When Aunt Mary thinks I am someone else, can't remember that she has something on the stove, or makes no sense what so ever, I want to just sit down and cry. I know that this is the Alzheimer's but sometimes that knowledge just does not help. I know the time is soon where we will have to put her in a home or I will have to take on her care full time. Won't it be harder on her if she has to give up everything that is familiar?
mfayUser is Offline Send Message Posts:10 mfay
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01 Mar 2011 09:56 AM
Our very good friend went through this with his mother. The responsibility mostly fell on his shoulders, since he lived the closest to her. When he could no longer take care of her he decided to put her in an assisted living facility. It did help. He visited her at least twice a week and it was still hard to see her deteriorate. He took comfort in the fact that she had around the clock care that she needed and he was not able to provide. Her surroundings did not seem to make any difference in her case and in fact she seemed to enjoy the other residents.
ChrisUser is Offline Send Message Posts:14 Chris
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17 May 2011 09:57 AM
There is no easy answer when faced with someone with these diseases. I try to do my best with being the caregiving and I am not ashamed to ask for help. It was not so bad at first but it does get a lot worse. Reach out to family and firends for help and check you local organizations for assistance.
BettyUser is Offline Send Message Posts:10 Betty
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11 Oct 2011 02:46 PM
watching someone with a brain disorder is one of the worst things i have encountered to date. you look at this person and you do not see the one you knew so well and loved for so many years. heartbreaking!
GinUser is Offline Send Message Posts:12 Gin
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10 Jan 2012 02:24 PM
I found so much information on the internet when I searched for Alzheimer's Disease. A lot of good sources to help anyone who feels helpless.
JulieUser is Offline Send Message Posts:1 Julie
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01 Apr 2013 09:47 AM
I am currently experiencing the "loss" of my mother who is severely depressed and is now showing signs of dementia. My father's illness with diabetes was overwhelming to her for the last 8-9 months and basically shut down, stopped eating, and went into a state of shock. I was the one who got her to the hospital for help when my father's illness sent him to the hospital never to return home again. He passed away late February and now I am in charge of caring for her. I know that eventually she might need more care than I am able to currently give. I left my job (under FMLA) and my home 3000 miles away to be here for her in our home and take care of her full-time. I know that this situation will not last as eventually I will have to get a part-time job to support myself, too, but I do know that all I can do for her now is love her and understand that her anger outbursts, depression, and despair is not her - although painful to watch - this wonderful, intelligent, friendly woman and mother deteriorate before your very eyes. I am beginning to find resources (such as this site) to help me cope and to help me on this journey - understanding that I am not alone - there are so many of us who are doing the same thing for our loved ones. It is important for me to take care of myself - enjoy a movie, go for walks, exercise, eat well, SLEEP, see friends, have a spiritual life by going to church. We are doing noble and honorable work by taking care of our loved ones in this manner. This is more important than any job or career. I have made the decision to leave my far away home for 14 years to move back and take care of her. My brother and his family are doing the same. Together, we will take care of mom and be here for her even though we might have to place her in an assisted living facility in the future. We might never have our loved one 'back" to a normal life, but at least we can live with the grace that we were there for them no matter what.
DeahUser is Offline Send Message Posts:9 Deah
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02 Apr 2013 11:25 AM
You reminded me of one of the quotes on the Caregiving Quotes page: "You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. -- K Gibran" The kindness you are showing will have many rewards. May you always have the peace about what you are doing as it seems that you have now.

 



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